Guest Post: What self-care means to me
What self-care means to me
When I sat down to write this blog, it suddenly dawned on me I had no idea where this term came from. I have worked in the wellness industry officially for 7 years this October. I created the Made by Pure Hands brand 4 years prior to working in wellness and I have been interested in the wellness industry since my early 20s. But ask me when I first heard the term self-care? I cannot tell you!
So I decided to search Google (you’ve gotta love Google). An interesting article in Teen Vogue in January shed light on this popular term and I was totally surprised. The term was coined in the 1950s by the medical community, but it was The Black Panther party and the American Civil Rights movement in the 60s and 70s that popularised this term. Apparently the holistic needs of the black community and black activists have always been part of their agenda.
As a black woman this information makes me feel even more connected to the term and why it is so important to me. Often as women we tend to neglect our own needs in order to tend to others - I was reminded of this in a beautiful newsletter I read by Shannon Reed of Mockingbird Makes - but when you add race into the equation along with a whole host of statistics on black women’s health, it feels that I must claim this term even more and try and spread the message further.
Self-care isn’t a marketing tool in the wellness and beauty industries, nor the next overused buzz word - it actually is a necessity for every single one of us. How you want it to look like in your life should be totally up to you.
What does my self-care look like for me?
As a busy Mum of one and the owner of a small holistic company, I am often stretched beyond my limit. My ‘to do’ list is often as long as my garden and I can never seem to get everything done. I’ve often suffered from burnout, trying to be all things to everyone and it’s taken me years to realise that my worth cannot be wrapped up in what I do, or how others see me. I no longer use terms like ‘superwoman’ or ‘strong’. I am simply human, with needs that have to be met.
As an Aromatherapist and Massage Therapist, I often use my therapies as part of my self-care routine. If you’ve ever followed me on social media or read one of my blogs, you know I am a big fan of aromatic baths. I’ve been a fan since I was a little girl. My bath is my sanctuary, where I escape, where I leave behind the stresses and strains of the day - but that is not i…I have many tricks in my self-care box.
Meditation & Prayer – My mental health is key to how I feel. I try and spend most days in prayer or meditation. Sometimes it is 5 minutes, sometimes 20. I really notice the difference when I do this, so I try and keep it an everyday practice.
Stretching - The older I get the stiffer I become. In my line of work, mobility is essential, so I cannot live without my stretching and yoga
Massage – Massage goes hand in hand with the stretching. Sometimes I will use my hands, but most of the time I use a foam roller and massage ball.
Nutrition – This sometimes goes out the window, but the better my diet, the better I look and feel. My energy levels are very important to me, so I am making more of an effort to eat well and stay hydrated.
Sleep – Sleep has been a struggle for me, but this year I have really started to unravel my unhealthy sleep habits. The progress I have made, I have turned into blogs. You can read more about it in the sleep series on my website.
Saying No – Yes, saying no, has become a key part of my self-care routine. I like to help others and can be a bit of a ‘people pleaser’. Last year during the pandemic I realised I had been stretching myself too thinly and I made a pact to say “no” to things which I just couldn’t do. I have to say some people were shocked, but overall people have respected my decision. Setting healthy boundaries has really been a game changer for me.
There are many other tools I bring out when I need to take care of myself, but the key is to find what works for you. We are all different and have different needs. They will change as you evolve and discover more about yourself. The key is to explore. Don’t be afraid to try new things, your happiness and health depends on it.
Vanessa Afful (MCHP) is the owner of Made by Pure Hands. Initially set up as a natural beauty range, it was her love of holistic therapies that encouraged her to branch out into Aromatherapy and Massage, the aim being to support people in their journey to adopt a more balanced lifestyle. In an age where our mental and physical wellbeing are being challenged, these therapies offer a way for us to manage and bring harmony to our lives.
Photo credit: Tricia Keracher-Summerfield